This week’s challenge fell under the artistic category asking the challenger to capture the word HARD in an image. The challenge states: HARD is both an adjective and an adverb. Interpret this as you wish.
A few images came and went: Large rocks, cast iron skillets (I cook a lot, LOL), preparing for a race, writing, etc. but one image came and settled:
The hardness of a contracted body, of a contracted heart–a hardened heart.
So, let’s get mushy for a bit and talk about our feelings.
For starters, all emotions are valid (yes, even anger, jealousy, resentment, etc.) which is why I hesitate to classify emotions as either “negative” or “positive.” A more accurate description would be contracting versus non-contracting emotions (Don’t worry, I will clarify these definitions below!) Whatever the category, ALL of our emotions serve as important clues about the things around us, the people in our lives, our experiences, things we need to change, etc. For example, take a moment to think of some of your favorite activist for good in the world. These are usually passionate people who looked around and became angry at some injustice/s in the world and decided to turn that anger into real action. An action that would not have existed without the initial anger. The point is we can use our emotions, even the painful ones, for information gathering, and sometimes even profound change.
Anger can be a FORCE for Mass Destruction OR Mass Construction. You choose!
(Google Image)
With that understood, let’s talk about how we experience different emotions:
When we experience emotions such as fear, anger, blame, frustration and other such related feelings, our bodies do, too. The mind and the body really are ONE. These kinds of emotions contract, tighten and tense our bodies–and our hearts. They leave us closed off, turning open hands into fists, quicken our breathing and covering or bucking our bodies to hide (protect) them. Think of the last time you were in a heated argument or the last time you were in a traffic jam. What posture and pose did your body assume? Was your jaw tight? Shoulders hunched? Compare that image to the last time you held someone close or found yourself in open-hearted conversation with a loved one. There is just a profound difference in how the body experiences joy, compassion, warmth versus how it experiences more painful emotions. Warmer emotions leave us open, release our hands to hold, reach, explore, our breathing slows and our bodies lean in. And Our hearts do the same.
Think of this: ICE turns to WATER to VAPOR. Imagine transforming from a hardened contracted state to one of freedom, softness, and warmth!
The photo chosen for the challenge was taken with a Nikon D 3200, using filters from a computer photo edit program. The image is cubes of cold ice on wood.
When we allow ourselves to let go of contracting emotions our hearts are free to do what hearts do best–to love. And love we must!
Lastly, let’s talk about how to handle tough emotions:
When you find yourself under the weight of contracting emotions, 1). Allow them. They are a natural part of the human condition. They are OK. Experiencing certain emotions does not make one bad or weak. It makes you human. 2). Peel back the surface of what you are feeling, and answer this: What do I need/want that I do not have? What am I afraid of? Because every single contracting emotion is rooted in the fear of an unmet need. Every single one. So find the fear (fear of not being heard, feeling unsafe, fear of rejection, not having enough time, not having enough money, etc.) and stare it down! 3). Offer yourself self-compassion. Contracting emotions can be overwhelming because they cause suffering and pain, making self-care important. Seek out others, too, for comfort. And lastly, 4). Once explored, try to let it go when you can, allow your body to let go; release it, so that you may live open and warm-hearted.
Ice, Water, Vapor.
The photo was taken of a small campfire made for roasting marsh mellows. The warmth from the fire raged as a group of us sat together, open to one another in conversation. It was a good night:)
On a side note, this blog was written during the unfolding of events in Charlottesville. I will avoid politcal chit-chat in this blog, but I could not help but think of just how different things could be between our fractured groups if we choose to be open with one another, and not just open for conversation and debate but for real, genuine understanding. What would Charlottesville look like if everyone on both sides were willing to offer compassionate understanding to the other? Instead of a “us” versus “other/them,” could it be just a “we?”
(Google Image)
“If you want to forget something or someone, never hate it, or never hate him/her. Everything and everyone that you hate is engraved upon your heart; if you want to let go of something, if you want to forget, you cannot hate.”- C. Joybell
Strike a Pose 